What is my conflict style
Five styles on two dimensions. Find the one you default to under pressure, then start picking on purpose.
Product development runs on uncertainty and pressure, so sooner or later people disagree, and some of it escalates into real conflict. That is not a failure of culture. A healthy amount of respectful conflict is a sign the culture worked, because it means people felt safe enough to say what they thought instead of nodding along.
Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann mapped five styles across two dimensions in the early 1970s: how much you are trying to satisfy your own concerns, and how much you are trying to satisfy the other person's. No single style is the right default. A skilled manager reads the situation and picks the one that fits, instead of running the same play regardless.
This sheet is a self-assessment built around that model. It is not the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument itself, which is a separate published instrument.
What you get
- The five styles, each with what it costs when overused
- Five real scenarios, scored for what you actually do versus what would fit better
- The limit worth knowing: what a process can and cannot fix
- Three concrete things recognizing the styles buys you
Where should we send it?
One email with the worksheet. You can unsubscribe from anything else in one click.
On its way
Check your inbox. If it has not landed in a minute or two, look in promotions or spam, and add sam@startuppatterns.com to your contacts so the rest arrive.
Adapted from the Culture chapter of The Mindful Product Company by Sam McAfee.