My boss ambushed me in a meeting

If an interaction at work felt like a setup, like the other person walked in already looking for a fight and found one no matter what you said, there is a good chance you were on the receiving end of what Eric Berne called a game. Not a metaphor. A specific, repeating pattern with a fixed structure and a predictable ending: a hook, a switch-up, and a payoff.

Naming the shape is most of the relief. It moves the event from something about you to something the other person is running, which is the difference between spending the evening replaying it and recognizing a pattern.

Each game has its own antidote. The one in the book's story, Now I've Got You, feeds specifically on unclear expectations, so the preventive move is not a better comeback. It is setting expectations clearly, in writing, in advance.

What you get

• The three-part shape of a game, defined
• Two common games mapped out, for calibration
• A blank map for your own recent interaction
• The expectations template that starves this particular pattern
• The uncomfortable half, which is spotting the games you run yourself

Adapted from the Mindfulness chapter of The Mindful Product Company by Sam McAfee.